did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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