used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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