Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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