Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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