He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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