4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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