he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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