you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
