Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wear drunk well.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
