Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
there is glitter all over my balls
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
