Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
