PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
