the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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