fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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