she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
