I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
