Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sorry my hands just texted you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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