this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
