tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
