Umm I'm too high to move.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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