so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
