My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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