shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
