did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize