drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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