just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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