I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
