im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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