just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
