Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
