So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize