if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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