awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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