I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
