yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
