If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
