I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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