yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize