So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
