i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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