Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you traded sex for a burrito?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
