sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize