D3 body, D1 cock
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i think i just lost a toe
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
