What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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