So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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