Im at strip club and am horny
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize