Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
