I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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