You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Houston, we have a squirter
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
