look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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