Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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