Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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