I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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