I cockslap morals
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
