How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
