Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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