I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
