Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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